Reader Responses, Part 1: on leading and trailing, loser status and native status, and moving “back” and moving forward

Dear all,

We’ve been overwhelmed and moved by your open-hearted letters to our companion pieces about moving to Taiwan (Michelle’s here and Albert’s here). Corresponding with you has been deeply fulfilling. The private nature of marriage makes it hard to talk about the sacrifices it often entails, as well as the shame and guilt that ensue. Many people told us that these pieces made them feel less alone; receiving your replies made us feel the same way.   

As always, we welcome your reactions or impressions at ampleroad@substack.com. Let us know if you’d like to be anonymous or identified by your first or full name, and feel free to provide a link to your social media or other work. We’ll never publish your correspondence without your permission; of course, we’d love to hear from you regardless of whether you want your reply shared publicly. (We’re also in the midst of packing up our apartment—ahh!—so please indulge our current slowness to respond.)

We’ve organized the responses mostly i…